a-dr0p-of-golden-sun:  WOW CAN THE ANON CHILL OUT PLEASE (ps ily Sonya)

THANK YOU EMILIE I love you too and I’m sad to be leaving you but literally I’ll be seeing you on instaaaaa :)

Anonymous:  good for you! i hope you patch yourself up lovely xxx

Thank you!! Thanks for being SUPPORTIVE. *stares daggers at retarded anons*

Anonymous:  That anon is a jackass. You need to do what's best for you. I hope you find happiness out there. You deserve it.

thank you. Like I don’t know why people are being douchebags when I’m just trying to get myself together. If anyone would understand where I’m coming from, I would expect it to be tumblr lol.
But yeah, thank you, I appreciate that :)

Anonymous:  all the shit you have going on isnt tumblrs fault so stop blaming this website and place the blame where its due

Tumblr is not the sole reason, and I’m not implying that. I said I need to make more changes for the better. This is one of those changes.
And if you are implying that IM the one to blame for hating myself, well, maybe you’re right, but I certainly don’t need to be attacked by some stranger who doesn’t even know me just because I’m leaving their precious tumblr society.
thanks, and just be on your way. Because I am leaving.
And i assure you, tumblr is partly to blame. Its not an all bad site and I’ts made me happy too. But its not all everyone makes it out to be. As much as it is a refuge to people, its also turning teenagers into monsters.

Anonymous:  people come to tumblr to express themselves and its fucking disrespectful to say that our thoughts are garbage. fuck you

You are misunderstanding, dude.
that’s fine that people want to post their feelings. If you feel like a failure and want to share it with your followers, fine. If you think you’re disgusting and ugly and unlovable and want people on the internet to know, fine. If you are depressed and hopeless and full of regrets and you want to let people know, fine.
But for me, its damaging to read that stuff every night. Its damaging for me to internalize all the poems and photos that I identify with all too well. Because if I keep looking at them, I’m always going to identify with them. I am always going to say “yeah, I am afraid that I’ll never be loved.” Or “yeah I do just want to sleep and not talk to anyone.”
So that’s why IM leaving. I’m not telling everyone to stop expressing themselves, I’m saying that at this point in my life, I can’t. Everything is a “trigger” for me. I need to totally eradicate myself or I’m going to keep getting sucked into depression.
So thanks.

Anonymous:  why are you leaving? </3

well, like I said in my text post, I just need to do things to encourage positivity in my life. At one point I thought tumblr was a positive thing because it makes me laugh and stuff.
But more times than not, I find myself here at 4 am taking in a bunch of garbage.

Anonymous:  please dont delete!! your blog is one of my faves! ):

thank you, I’m honored. but I gotta get out of tumblr.
Honestly its ruined my entire life.
And if I don’t get out now, I never will.

i think i’ll be abandoning my blog soon

im at a point where change is happening very quickly in my life in different areas, and i’ve never been a huge fan of that, but i want to embrace it. because i should, and because i want to feel like i can for once in my life.

and if i am ever going to embrace change, I have to change. All i see on tumblr are sad things, people who hate themselves and everyone around them. and i am trying to get better. I am trying not to hate myself anymore, because its about time. and nothing is ever gonna change, and i will keep having nightmares, and i’ll keep not eating, and i’ll keep lying to everyone i love unless i make a bigger effort to cut out the bad shit in my life.

i may delete it completely, or i may just abandon this blog. delete the tumblr app, clear my history, and start over. not sure yet.

just wanted you all to know, in case anyone cares at all.